Something occurred to me...

I was thinking about the fact that I have been writing in this journal-blog-thingie a lot since I started it, and it made me think about the last time I kept a journal and I realized it has been about the same time since I stopped meditating, praying and doing rituals regularly. Interesting coincidence that have been embracing prayer ritual recently to help me manifest this whole home/future situation, and suddenly all the pieces began to fall into place.

I also feel positive, and I am looking forward to life's changes and obstacles more now than I have in years. I have really been more depressed than I even realized and now that I am resurfacing it is really sort of shocking to look back and realize what a haze I was living in.

I am planning to set up my alter as soon as I get in the trailer, I already have a nook that I think will be perfect. Meanwhile I will set up a small one in my closet in the house just because I feel the groundedness that regular spiritual focus gives me is so much more important than I have been accepting. I can't even explain how it went into storage, literally, without feeling so weak and ashamed. I mean, I was made to feel like what was important to me was insignificant and downright stupid and ridiculous to the point where it was easier to let it go than to argue my beliefs. Being the sort of person that I am, I have always felt spirituality is such an intimate and personal thing that I hardly ever even discussed it with anyone, so to have to defend it was just not something I was prepared to do, especially when I was basically being beat down emotionally to the point of feeling invisible and inconsequential. More on that later, mt laptop battery is about to die.